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The Unofficial Online Y2 Bachelor Party


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Y2 is entering his last week of bachelorhood. Since the board members are spread over the state, I'm holding an online Bachelor Party.  NO PORN! Just pass on your best advice about marriage for Joe to use.  Here's mine:

 

Remember that whenever you disagree, you are automatically wrong.  If you ever discover that you are right, apologize immediately.

 

Phil

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Setting the ground  rules

 

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night.

 

As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on." She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body.

 

"I can't wear your pants," she said.

 

"That's right!!" said the husband, "and don't you forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!"

 

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

 

He said, "Hell, I can't get into your panties!"

 

She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until you change your attitude..."

 

 

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Setting the ground  rules

 

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night.

 

As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on." She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body.

 

"I can't wear your pants," she said.

 

"That's right!!" said the husband, "and don't you forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this fam

 

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

 

He said, "Hell, I can't get into your panties!"

 

She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until you change your attitude..."

 

 

 

That says it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Y2, dont believe any man that tells you that he is in charge of his house, he will lie to you about other things.

 

Remember these phrases.

 

Yes Dear

 

I'm sorry

 

You are right, as always

 

Yes, I am an idiot.

 

 

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Get one of those trick rulers, you know, it looks like its a foot. wink wink

 

 

Newly Weds

 

On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, 'my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.'

 

The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. 'Oh, oh, aaaahhh,' he exclaims, 'My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture.

 

Puzzled she asks, 'MY picture?'

 

He answers, 'yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever'.

 

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower.

 

He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, 'why do you wear a robe? We are married now.' at that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, 'oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture'.

 

He beams and asks, 'why?'

 

She answers, 'SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED'!

 

 

 

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Before you have an argument, ask yourself the following question:

 

"Is this worth half of everything I own?"

 

It works.

 

FlyNavy, the smartest guy I know...  Everyone I know that has divorced has done so for the same reason and I will share that wisdom with you, Y2!  Every friend I have that has divorced has done so over religion  ::)  He thought he was God and she didn't  :o  I would probably just stick with what FlyNavy said  :-X  Good luck with your bride!

 

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Celebrated my 18th wedding anniversary today!!  WOOHOO  So the waitress asks, "Any advice?"  Best I can come up with?  Be best friends.  Not in the romantic way, but literally, treat them like you would any best friend.  Realize that we are both imperfect, but always know that you have each others back.  Looking back at every male best friend I ever had, I realize at some point I punched them for some reason!?! ;D  Skip that part where girls are concerned!!!!

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convince her that going to semi state is her valentines day present

 

Works great until you get her state for her birthday present the week after.  Who the heck decides to be born during state finals weekend and then doesn't want to watch wrestling all weekend long?

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convince her that going to semi state is her valentines day present

 

Works great until you get her state for her birthday present the week after.  Who the heck decides to be born during state finals weekend and then doesn't want to watch wrestling all weekend long?

 

Actually, for our first date I took my wife to state. I knew she was a keeper when she didn't dump me and we got married a couple years later.

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