FlightDeck184 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 This has always been a pet peeve of mine and I was just wondering what other people thought about the subject of parents on the sidelines during meets. I personally think that parents have no business being on the sidelines during any meet. If the parent wants to talk to his/her kid about their match, then they need to wait until after the meet/round is over. Let the coaches who were hired to coach talk to the kids before or after their match, but I think the parents should remain in the stands. They only serve as a distraction to their kid supporting the rest of the team. This touches on another topic about kids leaving the bench to talk to family and loved ones. While wrestling is an individual sport it is also a team sport. That is what sets it apart from all other sports. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldman Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Parents have a unique ability to ruin a kid's pure love of a sport by becoming overly involved. They need to back off an let their child wrestle as their coach sees fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueBolt Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 This has always been a pet peeve of mine and I was just wondering what other people thought about the subject of parents on the sidelines during meets. I personally think that parents have no business being on the sidelines during any meet. If the parent wants to talk to his/her kid about their match, then they need to wait until after the meet/round is over. Let the coaches who were hired to coach talk to the kids before or after their match, but I think the parents should remain in the stands. They only serve as a distraction to their kid supporting the rest of the team. This touches on another topic about kids leaving the bench to talk to family and loved ones. While wrestling is an individual sport it is also a team sport. That is what sets it apart from all other sports. Agreed... I have seen parents and siblings (who were not involved in the sport at all) park themselves right in the middle of the teams bench!!!! It always seems to be the parents who have NO KNOWLEDGE of the sport at all (i.e. Dad was on the J.V. basketball team for 4 years) who want to be in the middle of everything. I guess it's just their "Brush With Greatness". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldCoach Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 This type of situation only exist because the coaches allow it. From day one there has to be some ground rules for parents and athletes. This can be done at the very beginning of the season with a parent/athlete meeting where the expectations of the coach are delivered. If the administration, parents, and athletes are aware of the coaches desires about what is to of them then it will make the job easier for all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinwrestlersmom Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Our coach won't let parents near the kids during a meet. I don't even do it during a little kids meet anymore. I figure if I'm needed ( for whatever reason ) Coach will call me over. So I guess what I'm trying to say is yeah I don't like it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booker T Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I have seen parents and siblings (who were not involved in the sport at all) park themselves right in the middle of the teams bench!!!! It always seems to be the parents who have NO KNOWLEDGE of the sport at all (i.e. Dad was on the J.V. basketball team for 4 years) who want to be in the middle of everything. I guess it's just their "Brush With Greatness". If they are a parent of a kid who wrestles, how are they not involved in the sport at all?? Chances are they have spent quite a few hours driving their kids to tourneys and practices, spent a great deal of money sending their kids to camps or buying them new shoes, kneepads, etc., and invest a great deal of emotion into trying to help their kid be successful at the sport they care about...How is this parent not involved in the sport at all?? Yea, i agree some parents go waaay overboard with the yelling and screaming.....But look at it this way, im sure a majority of kids that wrestle would take a parent that goes way overboad, but is there bright and early every saturday to support their kid than one who never shows up because they simply dont care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WHITE ANGEL Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I could not agree more BookerT!! Great point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booker T Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Thanks Angel! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueBolt Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I have seen parents and siblings (who were not involved in the sport at all) park themselves right in the middle of the teams bench!!!! It always seems to be the parents who have NO KNOWLEDGE of the sport at all (i.e. Dad was on the J.V. basketball team for 4 years) who want to be in the middle of everything. I guess it's just their "Brush With Greatness". If they are a parent of a kid who wrestles, how are they not involved in the sport at all?? Chances are they have spent quite a few hours driving their kids to tourneys and practices, spent a great deal of money sending their kids to camps or buying them new shoes, kneepads, etc., and invest a great deal of emotion into trying to help their kid be successful at the sport they care about...How is this parent not involved in the sport at all?? Yea, i agree some parents go waaay overboard with the yelling and screaming.....But look at it this way, im sure a majority of kids that wrestle would take a parent that goes way overboad, but is there bright and early every saturday to support their kid than one who never shows up because they simply dont care let me clarify...so those who didn't read my whole comment before leaping off the bridge might get the actual meaning... Those who are NOT ACTUALLY ON THE TEAM. It's a Team Bench, not a Team - Their Parents - Aunt Marge From Idaho - The Guy Who Put the Rivit that is poking me everytime I sit down on this - Bench. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booker T Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 All i was really saying is that i doubt there is a such thing as a parent or sibling that has nothing to do with the sport...If they are there cheering for their son or brother, I would consider them having something to do with it...They all participated in waking up early to come to tourneys, sit at home and listen to their grumpy kid complain because they are cutting weight ;D, etc..... FYI, even the 4 year JV Basketball player has something he can pass on to somebody else....You dont have to be an all american to try to help your kid...Ed Pendowski is living proof! The guy was never a state champ, but proved to be one of the best coaches to ever grace Indiana wrestling... Getting a little off subject, but the whole point is be easy on the crazy parents...They just love their kids and want them to do well....I do agree that sitting on the team bench should not be allowed, but calling it their "Brush with greatness" isnt right either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regulator85 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I got a story on a parent who was on the sidelines at last years Peru individual regionals. One of our wrestlers was wrestling this parent's son and our wrestlers were cheering our guy on from the bleachers. This parent went off on our wrestlers for cheering on their teammate. Then after that parent's child won, the dad got up in my face saying how his son was the man and our guy never had a prayer and just ranting and raving. Talk about parents living through their kids. That was ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chambers Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Anyone that is on the team bench can cost you points for unsportsmanlike conduct. How would you like to be in the hunt for a team conference, sectional, regional, semistate, or state championship and not win because a parent or someone else not actually on the team started to mouth off to the official. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
former130 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 All i was really saying is that i doubt there is a such thing as a parent or sibling that has nothing to do with the sport...If they are there cheering for their son or brother, I would consider them having something to do with it...They all participated in waking up early to come to tourneys, sit at home and listen to their grumpy kid complain because they are cutting weight ;D, etc..... FYI, even the 4 year JV Basketball player has something he can pass on to somebody else....You dont have to be an all american to try to help your kid...Ed Pendowski is living proof! The guy was never a state champ, but proved to be one of the best coaches to ever grace Indiana wrestling... Getting a little off subject, but the whole point is be easy on the crazy parents...They just love their kids and want them to do well....I do agree that sitting on the team bench should not be allowed, but calling it their "Brush with greatness" isnt right either I agree that parents that are involved in their kids life should feel they are a part of the sport and that even a guy that spends 4 years on the jv basketball team has something to give to their son but there is a line that I feel can be crossed. From my experience sometimes the parents want to win worse than the kids. They feel like if their son doesn't win, then all the time, money and other sacrafices was pointless and this does nothing but hurt the kid. The kid steps on the mat worring about not wrestling good enough for his dad instead of what he has to do to win the match. So I say spend all the money you want and take your son to all the tournaments but remember its about him and not the parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booker T Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I agree that parents that are involved in their kids life should feel they are a part of the sport and that even a guy that spends 4 years on the jv basketball team has something to give to their son but there is a line that I feel can be crossed. From my experience sometimes the parents want to win worse than the kids. They feel like if their son doesn't win, then all the time, money and other sacrafices was pointless and this does nothing but hurt the kid. The kid steps on the mat worring about not wrestling good enough for his dad instead of what he has to do to win the match. So I say spend all the money you want and take your son to all the tournaments but remember its about him and not the parent. I totally agree former130....BTW, how did u manage to rack up so many boos?? Haha ill throw ya big wahoo if it helps any Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WHITE ANGEL Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 All i was really saying is that i doubt there is a such thing as a parent or sibling that has nothing to do with the sport...If they are there cheering for their son or brother, I would consider them having something to do with it...They all participated in waking up early to come to tourneys, sit at home and listen to their grumpy kid complain because they are cutting weight ;D, etc..... FYI, even the 4 year JV Basketball player has something he can pass on to somebody else....You dont have to be an all american to try to help your kid...Ed Pendowski is living proof! The guy was never a state champ, but proved to be one of the best coaches to ever grace Indiana wrestling... Getting a little off subject, but the whole point is be easy on the crazy parents...They just love their kids and want them to do well....I do agree that sitting on the team bench should not be allowed, but calling it their "Brush with greatness" isnt right either ...Aw I love the warm and fuzzy side of BookerT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booker T Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Hahaha easy there angel...I got a rep to maintain 8) lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HighC Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I love the sport and have enjoyed growing as a coach but I'd much rather just be DAD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Decimus Meridius Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 This has always been a pet peeve of mine and I was just wondering what other people thought about the subject of parents on the sidelines during meets. I personally think that parents have no business being on the sidelines during any meet. If the parent wants to talk to his/her kid about their match, then they need to wait until after the meet/round is over. Let the coaches who were hired to coach talk to the kids before or after their match, but I think the parents should remain in the stands. They only serve as a distraction to their kid supporting the rest of the team. This touches on another topic about kids leaving the bench to talk to family and loved ones. While wrestling is an individual sport it is also a team sport. That is what sets it apart from all other sports. I honelstly don't understand your comments in my opinion if the team or coach makes this a rule than as a parent should respect that. But if the coach doesn't clearly define this from the beginning than how can you expect it?? It's really disappointing to hear someone make the comments about the parents "brush with greatness" I've been around wrestling for a long time and have met many different Dad's and Mom's from across the country who's only goal is to teach their kids to be passionate about the sport and the challenges they take on. Let's face it wrestling like no other sport is about passion and heart, getting that last second take down to win a big match or choosing not too. Speaking only for myself if any kid is going to have success in wrestling that means that he will have to put the time in during the summer, camps, local tournaments, state tournaments, and national tournaments, who do you think is coaching those kids through all of this? It's the parents and honestly speaking it is hard to turn that off when the high school season comes. So coaches if you don't want it happening than establish that rule from the beginning, because I can tell you that 99% of the parents are just trying to help and with all due respect to you and the time that you devote to our kids, the parents have given much more to those kids. Points is from December to February these kids follow your rules, so if you establish it from the beginning and enforce it, than it is your right to choose that direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
royboy74 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Good post, Maximus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
former130 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I think alot of this goes back to whats best for the kids! I know that personally I know nothing about gymnastics but if my daughter said she wanted to do this or if I wanted her to try it I surely wouldn't coach her but I would give every oppertunity to succed. I think that if you have never played a sport or been in wrestling then you are limited on the amount of coaching you can do. You can work on their strengh and help with the mental side of it but when it come to stratagey or when you should do a move your knowledge is very limited. I know I would hate to choreagraph my daughters gymnastics routine and if I did I wouldn't call myself a coach! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anchorwrestler Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 In my opinion, I think parents feel they need to control what is happening on the mat if possible, and some don't care if they are interferring in the coach's duties. I have been on both sides, I coached at my sons school from 6th-11th then had to sit on the sidelines his senior year. I hated every minute of that because, I wasn't in control of my sons matches... My winters now are spent watching my daughter's gymnastics meets, big change... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y2CJ41 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Parents should parent and coaches should coach, plain and simple. How would that parent like the coach over his shoulder during the family dinner criticizing everything he does? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cewrestlingfan Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Parents should parent and coaches should coach, plain and simple. How would that parent like the coach over his shoulder during the family dinner criticizing everything he does? I agree with this in most cases. However, some of us are both the parent and the coach and at times it can be a real fine line to tapdance with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
former130 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Parents should parent and coaches should coach, plain and simple. How would that parent like the coach over his shoulder during the family dinner criticizing everything he does? It's not that easy. When your son wants to wrestle but the school doesn't have a program so the parent coaches them. As the kids gets older the roles of parent and coach get blured by some people and that is where the problem is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlevito Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 I can not stand a parent or sibling being matside, or trying to sit behind the coaches chair about 5 feet. There are many different situations that arise throughout a sport, and I don't want the parent or sibling to influence anything on the mat. The biggest situation that drives me crazy is when it comes to choice for a wrestler at the beginning of the periods, most parents don't understand the logic to why a wrestler should choose top, bottom, or neutral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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