datdude Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 My boy is a 10 year old intermediate 95lber. He is in his second year wrestling and set a goal to place at state. In the macth to see who wrestles for third, he got pinned by a kid that I thought he should have beaten. Instead of talking to him like a father should his son that accomplished his goal, I acted like a jerk, and aggressively showed him how to counter a headlock(the move he got caught in). I just about tore down everything the day had brought to my boy. I guess what Im trying to say is, most of these boys wrestle to make us dads proud, youth wrestling is a sport that builds young men and not tear them down like I nearly did today. So I apologize to the Red Cobra program(Coach Red doesnt tolerate that kind of behavoir out of his parents), all who witnessed my act, the sport of wrestling, and most of all my boy Tramel Harrell. I am so proud of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfurgason Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Congrats to you both! We parents get caught up in the moment! I am a mom of a 9 year old intermediate 112llber. For you to come out and right the wrong takes a big man! My son today didn't even place and it took a lot for me not to be angry. My son was hurt and mad at himself because of things my husband and I have been drilling in his little head all week. When we got back to the hotel he swam and played and he finally said that this was one of the best days of his wrestling life. What I am saying is most of this kids will have so much fun just being there and doing their best! Which is what went on with my son! Anyway Congrats for getting to the 3rd place match, we are all proud of you too. Hope to see you at Red Cobra , we spoke to Coach Red today and my son with be joining the proud club! Dad don't be to hard on yourself! Have a great evening! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrestler60160 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 We all have got caught up in the moment. The best thing is that you realize it. Good luck the rest of the season..........and enjoy it because none of these young kids go out on the mat to lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacob Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Sounds like you and your son grew some today. Your son as a wrestler and you as a coach/parent. I think that we as parents want something so bad for our kids that we react worse than one when we don`t get it. The thing about it is that, we are human. The adult thing about it was you recognized your mistake. There are a ton of parents in this sport that see nothing wrong with acting like that. Congrats to your son on third and on having a father that wants the best for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regionrumbler Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 datdude, Man, what an awesome post!! I admire you for attaching your sons' name to this post and publicly apologizing to him. I'm sure you have done this privately as well. The sad truth is, this could have and should have been written by a lot of us. Many of us get so intense that it spills out in the wrong ways. Hopefully today you and your son are going to have a relaxing, fun, hug-filled day and yesterday will soon be a distant memory. My son and I are, and it's a wonderful contrast to the intensity of yesterday. Don't get me wrong, we had a great time yesterday, but we need the balance of a quieter day today. For all of us who get a little carried away at times, one way to make sure it doesn't happen again, I'd suggest to copy and read "Datdude's apology" before each Sunday tournament. Datdude, you may just have helped a whole lot of us. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIR HAVOC Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhayes Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 datdude, Thank you for the post. It gives me hope for the wrestling community. I am a IHSAA wrestling official and do several youth tourneys through out the year. At every one of them, no exceptions, I get very upset at a handful of parents and coaches at how they yell and berate the kids. These kids go onto the mat with high hopes and try to win only to be yelled at and embaraced at its conclussion. I see dads (and moms) throw the kids clothes and stomp off while yelling at them. What is the accomplishing? Last year I saw a mom get up throw the kid's clothes at him, yell some profanity, and leave him there bawling. This kid was 5 and it was about 10:30 pm!! Incredible. I have a 100 other stories just like this one. I wrestled from the time I was 6 until I was 22, coached after that, and have officiated for a while, wrestling has been a great part of my life. I have a 13 year old son, great athlete. He does not want to have anything to do with wrestling. You would think that would disapoint me, but it doesn't. I want him to do what makes him happy. It's about him, not me. There are a lot of days I am embaraced for the sport, thank you for giving me this one to be proud. We need more parents to see the big picture, as you have this past weekend. Congratulations on your major accomplishment this weekend! You and your son will grow richer in the sport and in your lives together. Something to think about....... When your son loses, you should thank the other competetor. For you have a much greater opportunity to teach your son something from a loss than you will from a win and this age is about what they can learn, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Once Formidable Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Like you, I have both apologized in public for my errors and have required the same of my children. I would say that your son more than got his money?s worth this past weekend in learning a lesson far more valuable than how to slip a head-lock. ?To err is human, to forgive divine.? We need more parents like you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edb41 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 It's hard not to get emotional when your son is on the mat, glad you realized you crossed the line, some don't. I've actually seen fathers tearing into their child after a win. When I am with my son and we see parents or coaches get carried away I always try to talk with him and use it as a life lesson, just as I talk to him if I jump his case, hopefully he'll be a better person with some understanding......just as I'm sure your son will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
former130 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 datdude, Thank you for the post. It gives me hope for the wrestling community. I am a IHSAA wrestling official and do several youth tourneys through out the year. At every one of them, no exceptions, I get very upset at a handful of parents and coaches at how they yell and berate the kids. These kids go onto the mat with high hopes and try to win only to be yelled at and embaraced at its conclussion. I see dads (and moms) throw the kids clothes and stomp off while yelling at them. What is the accomplishing? Last year I saw a mom get up throw the kid's clothes at him, yell some profanity, and leave him there bawling. This kid was 5 and it was about 10:30 pm!! Incredible. I have a 100 other stories just like this one. I wrestled from the time I was 6 until I was 22, coached after that, and have officiated for a while, wrestling has been a great part of my life. I have a 13 year old son, great athlete. He does not want to have anything to do with wrestling. You would think that would disapoint me, but it doesn't. I want him to do what makes him happy. It's about him, not me. There are a lot of days I am embaraced for the sport, thank you for giving me this one to be proud. We need more parents to see the big picture, as you have this past weekend. Congratulations on your major accomplishment this weekend! You and your son will grow richer in the sport and in your lives together. Something to think about....... When your son loses, you should thank the other competetor. For you have a much greater opportunity to teach your son something from a loss than you will from a win and this age is about what they can learn, right? Great post!! It is about the kids some parents I think want the kids to win worse than the kids do and they get carried away. It's happened to me :-[. We need to keep things in perspective. Be thankful that our kids can do sports like wrestling because it means they are healthy. Thousands of kids wish they could do the things our kids can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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