Been reading this thread a while now as its a topic I find very interesting, last night I was reading, a book, with pages, and words and stuff and it made me think.
I really don't think that my response here will help either side of the arguement, however shed some light coming from a different angle
Its hard for coaches when kids transfer away, no doubt, you put time into that kid and love them. You take it personal. I do too. But just as some kids are born with more talent, and resources. Some schools and coaches have more kids and resources. Some great coaches are at schools with less resources and never get to shine, some not so great coaches are at schools with major resources and shine. (and it works the other way too). But in the end we take it personal.
anyway, lately been reading like crazy, and this was something I thought really helped me with transfers and such, as I think it describes me, and some of you, AND MANY KIDS, so bear with me
Its from DAVID AND GOLIATH from John C. Maxwell - i copy and pasted a chapter summary off the internet.
Caroline Sachs, an above-average high schooler, was trying to decide which college to attend, University of Maryland or Brown University. The challenge of picking which school she should go to was most difficult. The majority of students wouldn’t even think twice about it because attending the school with a better reputation would look better on a job application, right? No. The problem with the students who chose the better school is that they do not realize is they will be among other students who were valedictorians and 4.0 scholars, immediately making her a little fish in this big sea. By choosing this, Caroline becomes an average student, which was a completely new concept for her. In the end, the decision she made ended up causing her to drop her intended major because it was too difficult and pick up a new one. This major was less appealing to her, and was not her passion. Now don’t you wonder what would have happened if she would have chose to be a big fish in a little pond? So does she.
it might not sound the way i wanted it to, but the point of the chapter was that it is best for some kids to have the opportunity to be varsity for YOU at at your school. I would have never coached football if i had not went to my hometowns school.......Yeah, my senior year I started on an 0-10 team - but i started and played. I never would have made varsity at another football school. What transponded from that is me coaching football to this day. It gave me a chance. Wrestling, same thing.... I was the only kid on the team that didnt make the finals my senior year at sectional - I got third. Think if I would have went to one of the schools that I lost to, I wouldn't have made varsity. I most likely wouldnt be coaching today.
Now, I don't know what to say about the kids that leave a program, many of us have had that happen. . They are gone, and we all have trouble forgetting that. But what helps me is knowing what going to my high school made me, and what it makes me do today. When kids leave, that leaves an amazing opportunity for someone else to grow as it did me. It made me a bigger fish in a smaller pond (starter at jennings county) rather than a small fish in a big pond......example: if I would have tried to wrestle for mater dei, i may have got discouraged never making varsity, and not coach today.
I've had kids lave, that the weight class was open to a kid that was academic all state when he got it. Great opportunity for that kid to become the big fish.
It helps me anyway to find peace with it, and know I'm doing good, and that kids get good out of being the "big fish in a small pond" here. I was. And other kids will get to be.
I do believe in loyalty, and staying with a school (been at Jeff 17 years now despite chances to leave); but once a kid leaves, do the best you can with what you got and create an awesome opportunity for the next kid to be "the big fish". Don't get so mad the kid left that you neglect the next kid or we WILL FALL LIKE GYMNASTICS. Keep your numbers up despite the transfers, its your job to.
what a rant. I really just wanted people to know I can read.