blueandgold Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 Lately, I’ve been stressing as the state tournament series progresses and I will be relieved once state is over. I just want to see the kids I’ve put the time into be successful, but I get 100 times more nervous for them than I ever did myself, and the idea of seeing them disappointed pains me. It’s what makes me not want to coach much after this year because wrestling is emotional as is, and I can’t bear to witness them not get what they want. Is this normal? Paycheck141, busstogate and CMorgan 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogleg Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 Perfectly normal. Part of me wishes Saturday was already over with so I know how we did. blueandgold, Mattyb, Wrestlingfan937 and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coach Brobst Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 Totally normal. I think not having total control, like when you were a wrestler, makes it nerve racking as a coach. We want them to reach goals they've worked for and feel helpless sitting in the corner watching. No matter how hard we work to prepare them and train them, ultimately, they have to go perform and some do, but some don't. Like anything else, it's about framing it for me. You will always question whether you did enough to prepare a kid when they fall short of their wrestling goal, but rely on the fact that you have instilled in them many life skills, including the very tough lesson that hard work and effort does not always equal reaching your goals--just the opportunity to achieve those goals. That's what gets me through these next two weeks. Have to know that regardless of how many medals we win as a team, the seniors that leave are better off for having wrestled and will be better young men and women because of it. Cody LeCount, Sutton047, MUSKEEWRESTLER and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aoberlin Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 45 minutes ago, blueandgold said: Lately, I’ve been stressing as the state tournament series progresses and I will be relieved once state is over. I just want to see the kids I’ve put the time into be successful, but I get 100 times more nervous for them than I ever did myself, and the idea of seeing them disappointed pains me. It’s what makes me not want to coach much after this year because wrestling is emotional as is, and I can’t bear to witness them not get what they want. Is this normal? Once you no longer feel that way you should quit. ZZ TOP, Greg Ratliff, CoachJoyce and 10 others 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wrestlingfan937 Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 Shoot, I’ve been anxious since Saturday! Glad to know I’m not the only one haha CMorgan and blueandgold 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Professor Morgan Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 I can’t sleep during this time of year. Was watching film til 3am last night. Stomach is always in knots. And it’s that way thru the entire ticket round every year. CMorgan, Mattyb, Wrestlingfan937 and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMorgan Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 Coach do you have any kids? If not, then it will only be worse yet. I had the honor of volunteer helping Coach Gard at Rochester for nearly 18 years at all levels until roughly 8 years ago. We would "what if" and strategize ALL the time (still do, just not as much). I did struggle with the seniors last matches, but did not have much trouble any other time. Until.... My son started wrestling. I had to leave the gym after his first match and collect myself. It hit me like a ton of bricks as I had no problem in the room or our internal wrestling events. Long story short, you are in the extreme norm with your stress and as aoberlin said, "Once you no longer feel that way you should quit". The excitement for Saturdays is what got me through a lot of weeks and still does to this day as a spectator. It doesn't go away. Mattyb, blueandgold and tyquhp13 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueandgold Posted February 10, 2022 Author Share Posted February 10, 2022 29 minutes ago, CMorgan said: Coach do you have any kids? If not, then it will only be worse yet. I had the honor of volunteer helping Coach Gard at Rochester for nearly 18 years at all levels until roughly 8 years ago. We would "what if" and strategize ALL the time (still do, just not as much). I did struggle with the seniors last matches, but did not have much trouble any other time. Until.... My son started wrestling. I had to leave the gym after his first match and collect myself. It hit me like a ton of bricks as I had no problem in the room or our internal wrestling events. Long story short, you are in the extreme norm with your stress and as aoberlin said, "Once you no longer feel that way you should quit". The excitement for Saturdays is what got me through a lot of weeks and still does to this day as a spectator. It doesn't go away. I do not have kids currently, but I can only imagine what it’s like. When coaching, building that relationship and developing a bond with some of these kids is like having a bunch of little brothers who you’d give anything in the world for to make sure they go as far as possible. At the end of the day though, like @Coach Brobst said, they’re going to be much better suited in life because they’ve wrestled and they’ll understand what it means to overcome adversity when faced with challenges life presents. When they apply for jobs or go to start a family, I think the last thing people will think to ask is how many state titles they won if any at all because it doesn’t matter in the long run. What matters are the lessons learned and I try to make sure I tell them that and keep them looking towards the bigger picture. Coach Brobst and CMorgan 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jcjcjc Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, blueandgold said: Lately, I’ve been stressing as the state tournament series progresses and I will be relieved once state is over. I just want to see the kids I’ve put the time into be successful, but I get 100 times more nervous for them than I ever did myself, and the idea of seeing them disappointed pains me. It’s what makes me not want to coach much after this year because wrestling is emotional as is, and I can’t bear to witness them not get what they want. Is this normal? You'll feel even worse not coaching those kids and being in even less control than you are now. As coach you have only so much control, but you do have control. As you gain experience coaching, the nerves don't go away, but your ability to handle them increases. You may not remember feeling a ton of nerves as a competitor, but you are probably remembering the end of your competition career; what if you thought back to the beginning? Would there be a difference in the nerves you felt from the beginning to the end? The same can be true of your coaching nerves. Edited February 10, 2022 by Jcjcjc bomber_bob, CoachJoyce, Coach Brobst and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jcjcjc Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 2 hours ago, hogleg said: Perfectly normal. Part of me wishes Saturday was already over with so I know how we did. My go to response when people ask me how I'm doing during a tournament is to say, "ask me in six hours, so I can be honest." Good luck to the Bombers, I say that honestly except for maybe a few matches against the Bricks. CMorgan and bomber_bob 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 YES!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 It's the second worst part of coaching. The first is saying goodbye to your athletes. Whether is to graduation, quitting, or worse, saying goodbye is never easy. I'm a mess every awards banquet. CoachJoyce and CMorgan 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattyb Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 It’s sooooo bad! Once you get kids… your bones will hurt. Best way that I can describe it. Holden 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casualwrestlingfan Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 Very normal. It's the highest of highs and lowest of lows. The closer to winning it all, the worse it gets especially if that is the expectation. The football playoffs this past year was a prime example. Watching the AC football team make it back to state was awesome, but the pain of falling just short hurt badly. I feel it to a lesser extent with my youth wrestlers on weekends. Especially my stepson and his 2 close friends that wrestle for the club. Also any other relation as well in their endeavors. My biological kids when/if they compete will be very stressful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disco Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 I think this is the fun part of sports. This mind set always eased my nerves whenever any of my kids would compete. And I always tried to mentally if not verbally convey this during competition. You and I know everyone isn’t going to the top. The kids don’t have to know this but they don’t need anyone one their side disappointed either. But for sure there is a lot of excitement this time of the year. And bringing out the fun part always made disappointments a little easier on the kids and me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sutton047 Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 7 hours ago, blueandgold said: Lately, I’ve been stressing as the state tournament series progresses and I will be relieved once state is over. I just want to see the kids I’ve put the time into be successful, but I get 100 times more nervous for them than I ever did myself, and the idea of seeing them disappointed pains me. It’s what makes me not want to coach much after this year because wrestling is emotional as is, and I can’t bear to witness them not get what they want. Is this normal? Super normal, I just finished coaching a season of 3rd grade basketball. We had a great team, we lost the first game of the year and then won 9 in a row to finish 9-1. We had a bye in the tournament and lost our first game last night by 3 to a team we beat by 16 three weeks ago. I was a wreck all day yesterday and was even worse today, I felt so bad for those boys. After the game I told them if they remember anything from this season it should be that game and that anything is possible and any team (or individual) can overcome any obstacle and prevail at anytime. I think someone said it best earlier, when you lose that passion it’s time to move on. Best of luck this weekend (and hopefully next) to you and your squad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trinedad Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 8 hours ago, blueandgold said: Lately, I’ve been stressing as the state tournament series progresses and I will be relieved once state is over. I just want to see the kids I’ve put the time into be successful, but I get 100 times more nervous for them than I ever did myself, and the idea of seeing them disappointed pains me. It’s what makes me not want to coach much after this year because wrestling is emotional as is, and I can’t bear to witness them not get what they want. Is this normal? I am sure it has been mentioned before, but if you get to where you do not feel bad when j=kids do not reach their goals or potential, you need to get out of the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LionsFan Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 (edited) During the regular season I wasn’t too bad, but when tournament time came, I felt it from the first round of sectionals until we were done. My first trip to state as a coach, my heavyweight finished runner up…He made a remarkable run that not many people expected. I remember after the match he came over and apologized for not winning. I hugged him and told him how proud I was and how proud our community was of him. We preached the 4 Ds. Desire, Discipline, Dedication, and Determination. We told the wrestlers almost every practice, that nobody would care if they knew how to do a double leg, or how run a cradle. It was more important to take those core values and use them as an employee, a husband, and a father. I still get nerves watching in the stands as a fan now. I know the hard work these men and women have put in every day, but in the end, they will all be better off for wrestling. Edited February 11, 2022 by LionsFan Coach Brobst, CMorgan and CoachLionheart 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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