A Father's Thoughts...

[Drooke]

this was posted on an Iowa board but I thought some of you would appreciate it.....

 

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"My son started wrestling when he was seven years old.  This weekend he wrestled his last high school match, and although he had a very nice career he ended-up just short of his goals.  He ended with 98 career varsity wins -- two short of what it takes to get his name on the wall in our gym -- and missed qualifying for states thanks to two excruciatingly close matches.  It was even more painful because we had four meets that were snowed-out this year, otherwise his 100 wins would have been assured.  And his bracket was loaded with returning state qualifiers, so he knew from the start that qualifying at his weight was going to be a big challenge.  But nonetheless he came tantalizingly close to beating a couple of extremely high caliber wrestlers, only to see the matches slip away; which really only added to the pain. After his last match he ran outside and cried for about an hour.  When he finally came back, and I saw him for the first time, the pain in his face was indescribable, and something I will never be able to erase from my mind.

 

It can be a brutal sport. And I won't lie, for the better part of the weekend I wondered if it might have been a mistake to get him involved in wrestling -- because I suspect this last day of his career will haunt him for the rest of his life. I wondered if anything is worth going through the pain he has gone through. You have to understand that he worked unbelievably hard to try to meet the goals he had set for himself. He wrestled 12 months out of the year, and between lifting, running, and wrestling he did some kind of training 365 days out of the year.  I could see in his eyes a sense that life had betrayed him; that if you work that hard towards a goal, you ought to be rewarded.

 

However, I've also watched him gain confidence through the sport that I don't believe he could have ever achieved without wrestling.  He carries himself with self-assurance that absolutely came from testing himself repeatedly, and from the many accomplishments that he did achieve. The last couple of years he helped coach the junior program, and by doing so he learned leadership skills and learned how to speak confidently in front of groups. To the young kids he is a rock star!  I have truly been amazed at what a fine young man he has become, and I know to a large extent wrestling is responsible.  And, yes, even the pain of failure has built his character and made him stronger.

 

I know this has nothing to do with Iowa wresting, but I can't say these words out loud to my wife and friends without breaking into tears.  And yet I need to get the words out -- preferably to people who know exactly what I'm talking about -- because there is no pain more exquisite than watching your child hurting.  In the end, I take solace that he will heal from the pain more quickly and more completely than I ever will.

 

I'm glad he wrestled. I've never been sadder in my life. But I am glad he wrestled."

 

[aoberlin]

Nice.

 

I always say there are very few true wrestlers that leave the sport happy.  This really helps sum up the saying that I have heard many times but sometimes fall short of understanding.  "It isn't about the destination but the journey"

 

Wrestling has been a part of my life for over 30 years and there isn't a year that goes by that I don't question why am I so passionate about something that breaks your heart over and over for kids that wrestle.  It really is about the person it makes you.  I know I would not be where I am today without this sport.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

 

[Drooke]

I'm glad you appreciated it aoberlin.....here is the thread I copied it from...

 

http://iowa.rivals.com/showmsg.asp?fid=813&tid=171507919&mid=171507919&sid=940&style=2

[maligned]

I suspect this last day of his career will haunt him for the rest of his life.

 

"Haunt"...no.  "Shape"...yes.

[Bruins2013]

Great post Drooke  brought a tear to my eye every year there are fathers all over that feel the same way. I like you were one of those fathers in 2014. very proud of the man my son is becoming im sure you are also.

[AllWrestleNoPlay]

Thank you for posting this. I fell way short of my goal this year and this brought a little comfort to me knowing others know exactly what I'm going through too. There's nothing quite as disappointing as working hard to achieve and then falling short.

[dadofa149#er]

This is such a great post. I read it daily and it hits home every time. My son fell just short of his goal of making it to state  this year. 2nd year to make it to the  ticket round just to fall short of going to state. Matthew worked very hard these last 4 years and has improved so much. I have told him that he has to look at everything he did achieve. Hoosier Hills Champion, Sectional Champion, Regional Champion and 2 times to semi state is a lot more than a lot of kids achieve and he should be very pleased with that. He is planning on attending collage this fall and hopefully he will have the chance to wrestle there and keep improving as time moves forward. This sport has made him into a nice young man. Thank you Matthew for all of the memories.

[Barrq]

I'm very impressed Andy that might be the best quote ever that sums up wrestling better than it has ever been described to me. I'll never forget Travis ride home from state his senior year.