Guidance for 4 y/o wrestler

[jay_flo78]

I'm looking for some advice or guidance from parents and/or coaches that have been in my situation.  I've got a four year old (as of 12/2011) who just started wrestling in January.  He comes to club wrestling practice and has a good time running around and playing with the other kids but when it comes down to working on things it's hard to get him focused on it.  He gets upset and sometimes doesn't want to do it.  I've also taken him to a few tournaments where he wasn't afraid to get on the mat and wrestle kids, even getting pinned. Recently, I told him that if you are on your back you are losing and if your hand isn't raised you've lost.  I  A few tournaments ago he had a "fit" when he was on hid back and just recently he didn't want to get on the mat and didn't want to wrestle at our last meet.  He says he likes wrestling and will wrestle with his little brother and I am trying to support him but am I expecting too much?   

 

P.S.  I know he is four, please don't remind me of this.  (My spouse does a good job of this)

[lowsingle]

I'm looking for some advice or guidance from parents and/or coaches that have been in my situation.  I've got a four year old (as of 12/2011) who just started wrestling in January.  He comes to club wrestling practice and has a good time running around and playing with the other kids but when it comes down to working on things it's hard to get him focused on it.  He gets upset and sometimes doesn't want to do it.  I've also taken him to a few tournaments where he wasn't afraid to get on the mat and wrestle kids, even getting pinned. Recently, I told him that if you are on your back you are losing and if your hand isn't raised you've lost.  I  A few tournaments ago he had a "fit" when he was on hid back and just recently he didn't want to get on the mat and didn't want to wrestle at our last meet.  He says he likes wrestling and will wrestle with his little brother and I am trying to support him but am I expecting too much?     

 

P.S.  I know he is four, please don't remind me of this.  (My spouse does a good job of this)

Just do practices until he matures a little, let him run around and play, just as long as he wants to keep going!

[Mattyb]

I'm looking for some advice or guidance from parents and/or coaches that have been in my situation.  I've got a four year old (as of 12/2011) who just started wrestling in January.  He comes to club wrestling practice and has a good time running around and playing with the other kids but when it comes down to working on things it's hard to get him focused on it.  He gets upset and sometimes doesn't want to do it.  I've also taken him to a few tournaments where he wasn't afraid to get on the mat and wrestle kids, even getting pinned. Recently, I told him that if you are on your back you are losing and if your hand isn't raised you've lost.  I  A few tournaments ago he had a "fit" when he was on hid back and just recently he didn't want to get on the mat and didn't want to wrestle at our last meet.  He says he likes wrestling and will wrestle with his little brother and I am trying to support him but am I expecting too much?   

 

P.S.  I know he is four, please don't remind me of this.  (My spouse does a good job of this)

My oldest son started when he was 5. He was very timid and did not win a match, but he keep a good attitude and has worked his butt off to be a solid wrestler. He is now 11 and loves the sport. He does get emotional when he loses (they all do), but not out of control. All in all a good family experience when he wrestles. So, he moved forward.

 

My youngest was 5 last year. He had success last year. He won many tournaments and placed high at freestyle state. But he has a very poor attitude and can not handle losing. He could be very successful. With this said, him having a positive attitude, respecting the sport and his parents is more important. He is not wrestling anymore. He will attend a practice every now and then (if he can handle it). He will be allowed to wrestle once again if he learns to respect his parents, other kids, and the sport.

 

Do I want my kids to be great wrestlers? Sure! We all do. With that said, if losing or just going on the mat causes emotional trama or stress in a child. It is not worth it!

 

I would say this. Ask him if he wants to practice or go to a meet. If he says no...... then let him stay home. If he says yes, then be sure to give him your expectations. If he can not handle this, then maybe try again in a year or two. Every kid is different and special in their own ways. Some kids can handle things better then others. We as wrestling parents need to realize this, put our best foot forward, and do whats best for our kids. If they have "it"...... "it" will come out sooner or later. If they do not have "it" ...... that's OK.

 

Matt Brewer

ISWA Folkstyle Developmental Director

[OldGoatGrappler]

I have a five year old who started hanging out in the wrestling room with the club last year when he was four.  He didn't want to do many of the drills and couldn't really focus, so I just let him do what he wanted to do and didn't force him to do anything.  I didn't get mad at him or show disappointment if he was just messing around.  It's my experience from seeing a lot of wrestlers mature over the years that they all do it at different speeds.  I'd strongly encourage you to focus on "making it fun" at this point as there will be plenty of time to for him to focus and work hard in the future.  Also, be mindful that pushing too hard at a young age can lead to a kid hating and then dropping out of our great sport and none of us would want to see that.

[MCKAJC]

Just do practices until he matures a little, let him run around and play, just as long as he wants to keep going!

 

IMO this is the best idea. We did practice and camps for almost 2 years before we went to any tournaments. My boys started at 4 and 5.

 

Good Luck!!

[quinnsDAD]

you can't have too big of excepections. (he is four) and winning and losing shouldn't even be a concern. making sure he doesn't come home next year saying he wants to play bball is. ;D if practice is fun and he wants to go take him. if he wants to go to meets take him have fun cause none of it matters if it's not fun now. they will never see the mat when it does matter down the line. and you enjoy it just as much cause it will be over before you know it.

[navychiefmatt09]

let him have fun.

[grapplersmom]

My son started when he was 5, that first year we did only practices and not a single tournament. I knew he just didnt know enough yet to "ruin" the sport by sending him out on the mat knowing he would most likely lose. The next year we slowly started adding in some tournaments, he didnt do super great at folkstyle but by the time freestyle rolled around he knew enough to hold his own.  He had some tears here and there, never really a full fledged "fit" but just the emotions of losing when he wanted nothing more than to win. I agree with letting him have fun, but he also needs to know there are rules. I wouldnt let him just go up to the wrestling room and do whatever he wants, if he goes he needs to practice like the coach asks him to do and if he is done or cant do that then take him home. Not saying YOU do this but I have seen people who let the kid come on and off the mat and just run around as they please and IMO that is setting them up to not respect the coach. Its so hard when they are young like that because they are just KIDS. I'm not sure my answer is the right one, but its what worked for us. My son is now a freshman and has wrestled every year for at least one style and I feel he has grown up to respect the sport and all the adults he comes in contact with while wrestling, from the coaches, to the officials. Best of luck to you, it might just be a trial and error thing to see what balance works.